The child development expert and coach Thanna Vickerman talks about the need for children to immerse themselves in the flow of things. Left to their own devices, children naturally fall into these moments of reverie. The expansion of their imagination takes flight in these states. Parents, with their self-imposed structure and schedules, often overlook this intrinsic need of children. Parents disrupt those naturally occurring patterns of focused relaxation.

The term “focused relaxation” seems an oxymoron. Shouldn’t relaxation be without focus? Shouldn’t focus be akin to hard-nosed discipline? How can it be relaxing?

We need to look to children as a model for how to lead the creative life. Our sessions with art should be broad enough to contain this seeming contradiction. Buddhist tradition teaches that meditation is the path through which this state of repose can be cultivated. But meditation is only a tool, a launching point, for ideally this focused concentration should permeate all aspects of your life, from the painting studio to chopping vegetables in the kitchen. Actually, it is much easier entering into this sacred space while chopping the vegetables. The Islamic saint and poet Rabia captures this point perfectly:

It helps,
Putting my hands on a pot, on a broom,
In a wash
Pail

I
Tried painting
But it was easier to fly slicing
Potatoes.

So how do we go about creating this special center of focused relaxation within our own craft, whatever medium it may be in? Having a daily meditation practice helps to train the mind to more easily enter into this space. In order for our creative sessions to be informed by this child-like encounter with the imagination, we need to let the notion of a set schedule fall out of prominence in our minds. Do not have a clock easily visible while you are immersed in your creative pursuit. Find ways to allow the creative session to be open-ended. Let there be a soft closing of creative doors, so to speak.

For more information on Thanna Vickerman’s parenting perspective, please visit: https://www.chooseloveparenting.com/